OK...so I work for a company where there are branch locations throughout the U.S. This past weekend we had our annual meeting (I was in attendance also) where my Branch Manager (my direct boss which we will from here on out refer to as the "Bull Shit Fairy") got Sales Person of the year award. My jaw dropped to the floor and the people at my table kept asking me if I was alright...at first I think they were thinking that I was upset because I didn't get any credit for his award...WRONG...WRONG...WRONG! I was upset because he is so full of bull shit and has the corporate team so snowed over that he totally didn't deserve this award. Read on to hear about all of his leadership and integrity...it is a story you surely will NOT want to miss.
The award was given out by the head of Marketing from the corporate office. This Corporate Marketing person (which from here on out we will refer to as "Buck Tooth Beauty Queen"...yes...this person looks like they could gnaw through the world's largest tree in 3 seconds flat) goes to each of the branches throughout the U.S. The branch I work at covers two zones (two major metro areas in the same state). The last time the Buck Tooth Beauty Queen was down to our branch they went to our secondary zone where we do not have a physical office, this was in September of 2009. Well...the Bull Shit Fairy has not been back to this second zone since September to do marketing of any kind (and the concept of actually picking up the phone is non-existent...I guess the phone must weigh to much for our little fairy). So the Bull Shit Fairy has to report marketing on a monthly basis via software to the Buck Tooth Beauty Queen. When I approached the Buck Tooth Beauty Queen at the meeting this past weekend to talk to her about the reasons I had not used the new software system to help the Bull Shit Fairy report monthly marketing I explained that long ago I had stopped entering marketing due to the fact that I was questioning the data that was being entered (might have had to do with the fact that every time I called the Bull Shit Fairy when he was supposed to be marketing I could hear his kids screaming in the background). Also because I was asked on several occasions to make up data and I would NOT! So the Bull Shit Fairy now has his wife (from here on out referred to as the "Main Street Hooker"...mainly due to a reference that was recently made in the office by the Bull Shit Fairy).
So...you see the Buck Tooth Beauty Queen is obviously NOT doing her job either as if she was she could have clearly seen via the software reporting system that the Bull Shit Fairy had not been back to zone 2 for the past 4 months.
I just LOVE all the accountability this company has for their middle management!!!
Also...Bull Shit Fairy did not sell a single new account in 2009. Also...our branch sales dropped by $200K (in the grand scheme of things doesn't seem so large but I am sure it is a pretty good thing that every branch across the U.S. didn't drop by $200K) from the previous year. We had the second LARGEST drop in sales in the entire company. To give you some perspective this equivalates out to a 25% drop in total revenue for the branch.
It would be one thing if the Bull Shit Fairy was only failing in this ONE area. The Bull Shit Fairy also does not properly train our employees which results in poor quality which hmmm...you think this could be the part of the cause of the drop in sales...now there's a thought! But I guess you actually have to be able to think to get that far. Our employees try to reach the Bull Shit Fairy on his cell phone and he won't even answer their calls which in turn results in delayed response and product to our clients/customers. How pathetic is that when you are supposed to be a mentor.
But remember the Bull Shit Fairy is Sales Person of the Year...ROTFLMAO!!!
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